The Ultimate Matchmaker

I'm sure we all have heard the phrase, "A match made in heaven"? Many of us are looking for that match. I know I was. Two years ago, I got really serious about marriage. I started praying and seeking God about it. I have always been a one guy type of woman. I don't need to date fifty guys to feel like I did something in life. I stopped dating two years ago also. I really didn't like it. I am a passionate lover, I give my all in a relationship, friendship and otherwise. I didn't like the return. I realized everybody isn't ready for marriage and that was what I was looking for. I wasn't looking for "fun" which in turn means sex, neither was I looking to just date for the heck of it.

Marriage is a powerful and beautiful thing. It is constantly overlooked now in the world. They marry and divorce, much like people return clothing they don't like. "Well, this doesn't work like it used to, can I have my money back?" It saddens me to see how often divorce happens. Some of it caused by people who truly don’t' value it. When you value something you work hard to make it work. Now this isn't to say that sometimes divorce is necessary, as in abuse, adultery, and abandonment cases. What I'm speaking of is, "She doesn't make me happy anymore." As if people can make us happy. People often annoy us more than make us happy. The only one that can give us that fulfillment is God. If we learn to stop looking for that in people we would be a whole lot happier.



God has someone very special for each of us. It irritates me when people, especially men of God say that God doesn't choose our mate, he gives us that choice.That is only partially true. In my bible, God says, he knows the plans he has for us. God designed us for a purpose in life, a purpose that can be destroyed by the wrong person in our lives. God gives us freedom of choice, he isn't going to force us to marry anyone. So you may ask, "Well, what if my husband or wife, marries someone else? Don't you think God has all the scenarios in mind? Didn't God have a backup plan already in place when Adam screwed up? Jesus was there to step in and take his place. God always
has a back-up plan. Don't feel silly, talking to God about what you want in a man or woman. He knows the desires of our hearts and if we are following Christ, a lot of the time those desires are the ones he put there.



One thing I heard from people when I told them what I wanted in a guy was that, that didn't exists. I remember shaking my head and saying, "Yes it does, if I have all those qualities, why can't a man have them too?" People think asking for a faithful, handsome man with a job is unrealistic. My list was a bit longer, but I was never the type of person to dictate the salary and education my husband should have. Or that he had to have blue eyes and blond hair or I wasn't going for it, that's just silly. But talking to God about what you need from that special man or woman is important. God already has the man/woman in mind for us. God showed me who my husband was. He did so in a dream, after fasting for an answer concerning marriage and who that man would be. I have always had dreams that were impactful in my life, dreams that often came true. I know a God oriented dream from a weird food dream. God used a woman from the church I was attending in the dream to point out my husband. More than one person was present but as soon as I saw him, I knew! I can't even describe how, only that I recognized him as my husband. I turned back to my friend and asked her, "Which guy?" and she confirmed it was the guy I couldn't take my eyes off of.

Now, not everyone has the gifting of dreams like I do, but God can still reveal that to us in different ways. Now, some skeptics may say, "Maybe you just saw some guy in your dream that you noticed that day and it manifested in your dream." That is a common thing to happen in dreams, but in this case, believe me; I would have noticed this guy. I remember thinking to myself in my dream that I didn't have the imagination to think up this guy, he was beautiful but different. God says he can do better than our best thoughts or imaginations and he definitely did. God had already been revealing to me, my husbands character and that he was an awesome man of God, so this dream was the first time I ever saw his face. It was a really sweet present from God and it just so happen to fall on the night before Valentine's Day.



Dreams aren't unbiblical and neither is God designed matches. The perfect example of a back-up plan, which really is God's divine plan, is the story of Ruth. Ruth was first married to Mahlon, but Mahlon ended up dying. As the story goes, Ruth ends up remarrying a guy named Boaz, also from the same "Elimelech" family. How crazy is that? Well, some may ask, why did God have Ruth marry Mahlon in the first place if she was going to marry Boaz and ultimately be in the genealogy line to Jesus? Impact and God's plan is why. If Ruth didn't marry Mahlon, she wouldn't have any reason to follow Naomi back to her hometown. Yes, Ruth loved Naomi very much, but she was also a mother figure in her life. She was a woman with a God that Ruth adopted. Everything in our lives works together for the good of us who love the Lord. There are many other areas in the bible where God places two people together but I'm not going into all of them. First marriage ever done on earth was between Adam and Eve, a divine marriage matched by God. Was it perfect? Yes, it actually was before sin was introduced by disobedience.



Obedience is a crucial thing. Listen to God, if he tells you not to date someone don't do it. I have done it before and I have had God cut off those relationships. I never had to break-up with anyone, thank God. All I did was think to God about things and God took care of the rest. Don't get caught up in who leaves you! Who you need to take notice of, are the people who stick by you. We are all looking for that special someone, but we can miss him/her if we keep attaching ourselves to a self-tied relationship. God-tied relationships are the ones we need and they are the ones that push us to our purpose in life.



"Nay-sayers" will be ever present in your life at this time. When you decide to let God bring you together with that special someone, you are going to have a lot of people tell you why you shouldn't. "That's not God's job to find you a mate?" Please, don't listen to people's stupid remarks. After all the wisdom we have in the bible, God is still fully a mystery. Why? Because we cannot comprehend all that God is, our minds can't wrap around it. Don't try to place God in a box and tell HIM what he can or cannot do! He is God! Ask and you shall receive. If I remember correctly, they didn't have a tagline that told me that a mate was a question I couldn't ask for and an answer I couldn't receive. God loves when we come to him with our problems, our triumphs and for any reason at all. He is our father. Just like in a dating relationship and you take the guy or girl to meet
the parents and ask, "What do you think about him/her?" We need that answer from God. More than you want yourself, God wants you with the right man/woman. Why? Marriage is purpose related. It is a duo, spiritual fighting machine! That's why the enemy is attacking people's marriages because when two are gathered together in God's name, God shows up. That means prayers are even more powerful!



You want to know the real reason why people are going tell you not to ask God for a husband or wife? It's simple, God's timing is not ours and we are a generation of people who "want it yesterday!" I know that feeling, I'm still waiting and looking at God like, "Any day now." But I've learned that my single time is a time for me to get myself together and get closer to God. There are many areas in our lives we need to work on. If you still have a nasty temper, I'm pretty sure it's going to take some time before God puts someone in your life. I don't think they had asked, "Lord, send me a man who gets ticked off often and can't control his temper. I really want a man who is constantly in a rage. Amen." No, that's not a prayer anyone would make. So, if there are areas in your life you know needs improvement be understanding in why that person hasn't entered your life yet. Also, remember it is a two-way street. You need to get yourself together and so do they. Constantly keep your future husband or wife in your prayers, fast for a great marriage, now before you two get together. You want a good set-up before that other person comes into your life. It's tough, I know. It's even tougher when you know what God has for you because your super excited about it. Almost like when you have a field trip or vacation planned and your counting down to that day. Can't wait, can't wait! That antsy feeling is normal for any excited person but we have to pipe down sometimes and focus on the details. Just like a vacation we need to make sure we are packing the right things and unpacking the wrong ones. We don't want too much baggage if we are taking a plane, you get the idea. Every good thing takes preparation. This doesn't mean that you won't struggle or be tempted to just throw in the towel. Believe me, I felt that way too. Even as the thought enters my mind, I realize I don't want a substitute.I don't want to settle for anything less than God's best for me. Quality costs us something, cheap comes easy and it is more likely to break or fall apart. Take this into your relationships.Don't settle for someone whose life is in shambles.We are not contractors looking for "fixer-upers." We can't fix anyone anyway. God is the carpenter, let him fix the broken houses that are us.



In closing, spend time with God. It is hard not to search the faces in the crowd looking for my husband's face but I don't feel discouraged when I don't see him. I keep my focus on God first then my husband second. That is something you have to get used to doing because marriage is the same way. God is the head of the marriage, husband is the head of the household and the wife is the helper. Women be prepared to stand beside your husband, not in front of or behind, that is why God made Eve from the rib. We, as women are meant to be at our husbands side. Men, be prepared to give up your life every single day, because that is what God asks of you. He says you must give up you life, just like Jesus did. Both of our roles in completion can be found in Corinthians. Read and study the word about marriage and pray about what God needs you to change/work on. When the time is right, you'll be saying hello to your match and the best match is made by the Ultimate Matchmaker-God!